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As well as the experts, professionals and organisations, we have also been amongst the community interviewing for our documentary. One thing that I was told in a room of teenagers was how the consensus seems to be that teens are sad they are missing out on the hand-holding part of relationships. That there seems to be this expectation of hyper sexualisation and porn-style "relationships" that is putting pressure on them. To me, this is where we need to step up our game. Online pornography is not going away any time soon and high percentages of our teens are using porn sex as sex education. Porn is not teaching intimacy, healthy body image and expectations, respect, negation and consent. There are no drawn out story lines anymore. Just wham, bam and not even a thank you mam! We need to educate ourselves and be comfortable enough to broach this topic with our teens, not to shame them for watching online porn, but rather to educate them on healthy sexuality and how porn today's genres on mainstream online porn are not that. Teens are high risk as parts of their brain shut down to work on new parts being formed as they come into adulthood. At this time, we are their brakes, we are the voice of reason and experience and we need to be mindful of we tackle this topic with them :)

I was recently interviewed by the lovely Natalie and Jacqui from "If Only They'd Told Me" about the work we are doing. One of the questions I was asked was around what age we should begin conversations with our children. After all of the research and talking to the experts and communities, I really do believe that we can start the process of keeping our children safe and being alerted to our children being exposed to online pornography, as young as three. If they have access to a smartphone, iPad or tablet, have siblings with access or friends with access then we need to say something. And don't worry you can still keep it age appropriate. Simply explaining that they should come and tell you if they see any pictures online with private parts is an easy way to start. You then get to assess what has been stumbled upon/shown to them. You also keep the lines of communication open for the difference between art/nudity and pornographic material. And you don't vilify or make a big huge deal out of it. Check out the books by Kristen Jensen (Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr) and Liz Walker (Not For Kids. These read-a-long books will really help both you and your child navigate this. If you are still unsure, think about this scenario: you have a fire-pit or a BBQ in your garden. You are going to warn your three year old to keep away at safe distance or they may get hurt. You don't have to tell them the in's and out's of first degree burns. As with possible exposure to porn, you don't have to tell them more than they need to know at that age to keep them safe :)

Yes I'm the first to post! only because my wife Zareen set this up, not that I'm name dropping or anything... anyhow, my oldest boy 12 is heading for a birthday sleep over with a mate this weekend and i start to think "do this family have filters on their internet"? i mean a room full of boys at 12 and many of them will have phones and a truck load of curiosity, hormones and egging each other on. If the boys do bring their own phones should they all be put in a bowl overnight away from the boys? Do the host Parents have filters on gaming consoles and laptops and tablets? Is it ok to ask these questions of these parents? So I think yes and sent them this text. Have you questioned parents when your kid has been invited to a sleepover or even just to hang out at their place?